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Delvie
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« Reply #700 on: Tue, October 30, 2007, 11:37:31 » |
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I didn't realize I had the one of BK hiding behind the welness center toilet. I was already emotional resizing & sharpening the pics. That one made me lose it. They've gotten very timid since I dropped them off @ the pet wellness center 3wks ago.
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #701 on: Tue, October 30, 2007, 12:18:08 » |
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I didn't realize I had the one of BK hiding behind the welness center toilet. I was already emotional resizing & sharpening the pics. That one made me lose it. They've gotten very timid since I dropped them off @ the pet wellness center 3wks ago.
I am sure they will find wonderful homes!!! The 2 cats I had, I had to give them up and it was really hard |
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Delvie
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« Reply #702 on: Tue, October 30, 2007, 15:09:08 » |
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Dawn. Did you post a couple of these before? Seems like I've heard baby oil & morality before.
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How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in" .. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you
were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to
see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #703 on: Wed, October 31, 2007, 07:19:21 » |
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Delvie, I think I did some of them sound very familiar and more then likely I got from my Uncle Lee, he tends to send me a ton of jokes.
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Delvie
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« Reply #704 on: Wed, October 31, 2007, 11:01:49 » |
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Damn, I miss having new SHI to read.
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #705 on: Wed, October 31, 2007, 11:27:52 » |
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Damn, I miss having new SHI to read.
I think we all do! At the moment I am reading my final novel for class called Middle Passage. Scenarios at times I dont really want to read about but it is ok. You should get what religion the book talks about with the title of the book. But it is written about a Freed Black (African American) in New Orleans and ends up on a slaver boat. The humor in the book does keep me interested in it. |
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toranoshi
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« Reply #706 on: Wed, October 31, 2007, 14:35:53 » |
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Here are two for you:
If firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
If you push your own naked clone off of a building are you guilty of murder, suicide or making an obscence clone fall?
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #707 on: Thu, November 1, 2007, 10:06:48 » |
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HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Open a new folder on your computer.
2. Name it "Hillary Clinton"
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary Clinton?"
6. Firmly Click "Yes."
7. Feel Better?
8. Tomorrow we'll do Ted Kennedy...
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Delvie
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« Reply #708 on: Thu, November 1, 2007, 11:52:10 » |
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I think I would have started w/ Kennedy.
PS. Stick Guliani in the same folder w/ Hilary, while you're @ it. They're both pu$$ie$.
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Delvie
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« Reply #709 on: Thu, November 8, 2007, 01:36:17 » |
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I've been busy scanning old 35mm pictures onto the computer to have a digital copy in case anything ever happens to my stuff. One pic I've always liked is one that I took a long time ago in Atlanta (I think) It's titled "Behold". It's a 12-foot tall, bronze statue of Kunte Kinte. The sculpture is based on the ancient African ritual of holding a newborn up to the skies and declaring, "Behold, the only thing bigger than yourself."
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #710 on: Thu, November 8, 2007, 06:53:06 » |
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that is a cool pic, reminds me of "The Lion King"
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Delvie
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« Reply #711 on: Thu, November 8, 2007, 16:03:02 » |
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Delvie
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« Reply #712 on: Mon, November 12, 2007, 17:20:43 » |
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SCOTTISH TRAP
In the old days the English and Scottish armies used to fight by gathering their armies on top of the hills and at day break they would run down the hillside into the deep gorge below to fight.
One morning at dawn there was a fog (as thick as pea soup) and the two generals decided to refrain from fighting that day. Whilst the two armies were resting a voice, with a scottish accent came from within the dense fog.
"Any one scotsman can beat any 10 englishmen".
With this, the english general sent down 10 of his soldiers. There was a hell of a fight and NO ONE returned. An hour later, the same voice was heard.
"Any one scotsman can beat any 50 englishman".
With this the english general sent down 50 of his soldiers. The same thing, a terrible fight ensured and again NO ONE returned. An hour later the same voice.
"Any one scotsman can beat any 100 englishman".
Same same, down went 100 of the best. NO ONE returned. An hour later.
"Any ater.
"Any one scotsman can beat any 1,000 englishman".
By this time, the english general had enough and was about to send down his elite soldiers, when he saw a lone englishman crawling up the hill. He was battered to a pulp. As he reached his general he said, "Don't send any more troops down, its a trap, THERES TWO OF THEM".
IRISH DECLARE WAR ON SADDAM
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub-that makes 8!"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr.Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to1 and a half million since we last spoke."
"Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Paddy rang again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultralight with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guidedsurface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Faith and begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr.Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."
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pctchuck
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« Reply #713 on: Mon, November 12, 2007, 20:22:21 » |
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Cute. My son will love the later, I the former.
And with the bagpipes, I did love them. Didn't see my clan's tartan though.
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When a wise man does not understand, he says "I do not understand."....
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Delvie
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« Reply #714 on: Wed, November 14, 2007, 16:57:45 » |
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Didn't see mine either, of course... my eyes were closed listening to the devilbag. ;)
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #715 on: Wed, November 14, 2007, 18:37:50 » |
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Didn't see mine either, of course... my eyes were closed listening to the devilbag. ;)
yeah i believe that one |
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Delvie
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« Reply #716 on: Wed, November 14, 2007, 22:44:14 » |
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Delvie
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« Reply #717 on: Tue, November 20, 2007, 10:55:03 » |
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I was texting the WS gang awhile back about THE GOLDEN COMPASS that comes out soon. I'm hoping it will be on IMAX. I'm sure it will. I'm going to see BEOWULF on IMAX 3D in 11 days. Anyway, I thought this sneak preview scene from 'COMPASS was cool & wanted to show you guys. Again, try it on LARGE screen. (last button on right under video)
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=22203795
Here's the trailer to the movie if anybody is interested = http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=22199296[size=07pt] (and yes, Ian McKellen is the voice of the polar bear Iorek)[/size]
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« Last Edit: Tue, November 20, 2007, 11:11:35 by Delvie »
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #718 on: Tue, November 20, 2007, 11:11:21 » |
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Nate says thanks for the info!! |
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Delvie
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« Reply #719 on: Tue, November 20, 2007, 11:12:33 » |
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No problem. I've always been a fan of Bi-polar Teddy Bears
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dawnsawaking
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« Reply #720 on: Tue, November 20, 2007, 13:59:59 » |
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No problem. I've always been a fan of Bi-polar Teddy Bears
Nate is truely that!! |
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Delvie
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« Reply #721 on: Sat, November 24, 2007, 18:45:56 » |
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kikuchiyo
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« Reply #723 on: Tue, November 27, 2007, 14:02:27 » |
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Cool. Johnny Raygun looks like it should be a flip book.
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