Hellion For Hire #22
Snoopy, “300” and the Greatest Little Convention in the World

This column would have been completed over the weekend, but I wanted to avoid all the “Captain America Hype” that’s been going on. I guess I’m the only one who noticed that Mighty Avengers #1 came out last week as well – Frank Cho did one amazing job! Too bad this gorgeous-looking book seems forgotten amid all of last week’s marvelous mad “Cap”. Plus I wanted to see 300 and offer my thoughts on the film and the comic book itself.

I actually started the column at 36,000 feet above the earth while traveling a smart 526 mph in a super sweet Boeing 767. This is why the it might read like it was written in two parts, but without further ado, let’s get on with it as I’ve got a script to write and three commissions before I head out to the Wizard World Los Angeles show in the morning.

On our way to Greece – and a boatload of wife-trouble!

Ten years ago I had the opportunity to go to Greece for a vacation, but unfortunately, I was too busy (or more honestly, too stupid) to find the time. It has been one of my greatest regrets, but that all changed last week when my wife Deborah and I made it to New York’s JFK Airport without a minute to spare. We blew through customs, even though I had an Exacto knife in my carry-on (oops!) and settled in for a nice 8 hour and 40 minute flight to Athens.

Listening to several passengers and the flight attendants speaking Greek brought back lots of fond memories and the time I was engaged to marry a beautiful Jersey girl who was born in Crete. Little did I know that I was starting down the primrose path of destruction with my also-beautiful, but oh so pissed off, WIFE!

Actually, I should have known I’d get in trouble, but that’s what’s so wonderful about ignorance being bliss — one part of your brain doesn’t realize it, while the other doesn’t really give two sh#ts. All I cared about was that I was on my way to Greece with my darling (who was already starting to simmer) and was going to experience the cradle of Democracy, Thermopylae and the last stand of Leonidas’ 300!

The flight was just fine and even though I couldn’t sleep (never can on planes) was pretty jazzed about finally being in country – and that’s where I started to slip and get looks from my very pretty little green-eyed monster. In my defense, (if I really have any) I promise I tried not to do it, but couldn’t help myself. For you see, I can speak Greek. Not much mind-you, perhaps 100 words or so (or just enough to make a Greek cringe) but definitely enough to get a size-61/2 high-heel to the head. I love the language and find it easy to pick up, but hadn’t spoken a word of it in 10 years (at least not with Deb around). I was pleasantly surprised just how quickly it all came back to me and just how much I had learned. But I was dismayed when my excuse that “When in Rome…” didn’t hold much water with the wife being that we were in Athens. So what started with a simple Kalimera (Good Morning), somehow led to me introducing myself as “Vasili”(“VASILI?”) and an extreme case of diarrhea of the mouth which was to much delight from our new Athenian friends and much head trauma from Deb’s shoes!

So enough of my little rant (at least for now) about how stupid a husband who has everything can be and let’s get onto the subject of comics, films and one of the best convention experiences of my life!

Comicdom, Athens – The Greatest “Little” Convention in the World!

The con was held at the Hellenic-American Union, a non-profit institution and Hall that focuses on Greek-US relations, projects, political affairs and education. Its awesome café’ also had the best con food I’ve ever experienced by far! Everyone in attendance was very nice and they made the two-day event very enjoyable. The show ran from about noon to 10pm on Saturday and Sunday, and even though we weren’t used to such long hours, the time blew by. It was a good thing too sas no one in Athens goes out for dinner until at least 10pm on the weekends anyhow!

Our small US /UK guest contingent all got along famously and wondered at the spectacle that was Athens. I had the opportunity to hang out with my pal Scott Lobdell. It’s been 10 years since we’ve actually spent any real time together and as always, it was a thrill since is one of the funniest and most creative chaps I’ve ever met. Scott’s also written some of the best comics I’ve ever read and has embarked on a very successful screenwriting career with several TV shows presently in production and films (“Man of the House” being the most recent), but he misses comic books and has several things lined up — of which I’m not allowed to speak of. Also around for some wine and ouzo were Andrew (Transformers) and Leslie Wildman, Fantagraphic’s Gary Groth and Paige Braddock, Creative Director for “Peanuts” licensing worldwide and creator of the Eisner Nominated comic book, “Jane’s World.” Andrew has a wonderful charity “Draw The World Together,” an organization that provides healthcare and education for children living in Third World Nations. All the artists in attendance had a blast illustrating special covers for the charity that raised quite a bit of money for DTWT. For more information on Draw the World Together please visit www.drawtheworldtogether.com
We also had the pleasure of spending time with Jean Schulz, President of the Charles M. Schulz Museum and “Sparky” Schulz’s widow. Jean is a marvel of a person. She holds a PhD, a commercial pilot’s license and is also a former tennis champ. Her and Deb got along like peas and carrots and when Jean wasn’t paying for EVERYTHING, she shared great stories of Sparky, his creative process and overall motherly advice to us all!

Our hotel had an awesome rooftop restaurant and I’ll never forget sharing a drink and conversation on comics with these fine people while experiencing a lunar eclipse by the light of the Acropolis.

Speaking of the Acropolis, we all went there on Monday (thank you Jean for paying AGAIN) to marvel at this incredible piece of history. Some of you might know just why the Parthenon is its present ruinous shape. It’s not because of time or earthquakes but the fact that on September 28, 1687, the marble treasure was blown to smithereens by a Venetian cannon bombardment. It seems that the Turks actually used their “peaceful Mosque” as an ammunition dump as well and thank goodness they don’t do such things today. Regardless, it was still one of the most exciting (and dare I say “spiritual”) experiences of my life and one that everyone should see before they die –seriously!

For all North Americans looking to attend a great show abroad next year and could be coupled with a vacation, I HIGHLY recommend getting in touch with the fine folks over at Comicdom (http://www.comicdom.gr/convention). Led by indefatigable Dimitris Potamianos, a Professor at Panteion University and the incredibly lovely and brilliant PhD researcher Lida Tsene also of Panteion University, the convention (run entirely by VOLUENTEERS) went off without a hitch. They continuously kept asking if there was anything we needed and I am deeply honored to now call them all friends (or filos)! Any pros interested should email Scott Lamky at sll01@comcast.net.
The most endearing part of the show however was to learn that the promoters and staff don’t charge any admission and don’t make one dime from the show. They do it for the love of comic books and wanting a place for comic fans from all of Greece to gather once a year.
My special thanks to my buddy Scott Lamky who along with our new friends Stavros Avgenakis and beautiful fiancée’ Vasiliki was really responsible for bringing Deb and I over for an experience we’ll never forget.

Onto Thermopylae – and the Disappointment of a Lifetime!

All my life I’ve dreamt of going to Thermopylae. To be honest there isn’t any other place I want to see first. It was always Thermopylae first, Normandy second. Since childhood I’ve been obsessed with the battle that took place August 11-13th (calculated to today’s calendar) 480 BC. What made it more intriguing to an 11 year-old kid from Long Island, NY was the fact that the last of the 300 Spartans fell on his birthday. Now, almost 30 years later, everything was finally coming together. We did the Con on the weekend, saw the Acropolis and greater Athens on Monday, rented a car Monday night and was all ready to head the 2 1/2 hours north Tuesday morning when suddenly all roads to this hallowed ground were CLOSED. Apparently the Government screwed over their fellow countrymen and now the farmers had put on a general strike. There was no way to get anywhere near or even around it. Deb, (who had no desire to go in the first place) was really sad for me and the fact that my life-long dream of standing in the footsteps of my heroes wasn’t going to happen. I know I’ll return to Greece and will see the statue of Leonidas someday, but not in 2007. Scott, Stavros and Vasiliki did come to the rescue and we all enjoyed a great day in Athens shopping, eating, drinking and sightseeing.

I guess I’ll never know why the Greeks went to war with Troy over Helen, because I gotta tell you, that country gives the world the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life. I had a lot of fun asking the guys from various parts of Greece just what region produced the most hotties (especially in front of their girl friends), but the conesus seems that they hail Crete, (I won’t argue) but as several of the guys informed me the Cretan women apparently “all know this.” My friend Pauline, who is Spartan, Macedonian and a beauty herself will digress – and being from Sparta, it really isn’t smart to disagree with her – especially if you value your life!

Overall, Deborah and I got to share some wonderful R&R with each other for the first time in long time and though it was sad to leave our new friends and this amazing country I hold so close to my heart behind, it was great being back to our boys whom we miss very, very much. But my head still aches from her shoe!

“300” - One Huge Victory for Comics and us all!

Let’s be honest, aside from Cap getting whacked, the real talk of the industry is obviously the film adaptation of Frank Miller and Lynn Varley’s 300. A few months ago, I was having lunch with my dear friend Heidi MacDonald. She had just seen an advanced screening of 300 and wasn’t sure how she felt about the film. Now if you place two people on opposite ends of the political spectrum that would be Heidi and I. Even though I think she’s nuts we still love each other and always have a great time together. So (and I quote my dear friend) Heidi proclaims that “you would love it,” for as one critic put it, the film is “a Fascist’s dream.” The critic’s statement has since been repeated by many of his peers, but I don’t see the connection. What does defending your homes, ideals and family have anything to do with Fascism? It doesn’t. The simple fact of the matter is that the entire army of the Xerxes’ Persian empire invaded Greece with a force that comprised of Libyan, Egyptian, Ethiopian, Babylonian, Chaldean, Phoenician, Syrian, Assyrian, Palestinian, Armenian, Cilician, Cappadocian, Thracian, Parthian, Bactrian, Caspian, and even Indian warrior/slaves. An army of over 2 million men — more men than in all of Greece for God Sakes!

Leonidas saw the danger, and knew of the coming the destruction, so he gathered a force of 300 Spartans and several hundred Thespians and, as most of the city-states’ politicians were busy debating whether or not to surrender, led them north to imminent slaughter but more importantly, immortality at the “Gates of Hell.” For it was to honor the sacrifice of this tiny fellowship that all of Greece mobilized and as I believe, saved the world. The war would continue for another year, but the battle cry of “no retreat, no surrender” pushed the now united Greeks to win the naval battle of Salamis and (as seen at film’s end) the ultimate defeat of Xerxes’ Army at Plataea, which was again lead by the Spartans.

Now imagine if all of Greece had fallen to Xerxes in 480 BC. Imagine the destruction of all Greek culture, their ideals and their way of life. There would never be an Alexander, or a Roman Empire either wouldn’t there? I’m a Christian and strong in my faith, but wonder that if there were no Roman Empire, is it fair to say there would be no Jesus Christ, at least as we know him today? I know that’s a lot to swallow, but it is a theory. At least one can surely argue that there would be no democracy. Remember, Xerxes was a king who sacked, pillaged and destroyed all native culture to the lands he conquered. So is it possible that had Leonidas stayed behind and the Greeks surrendered, that there would be no United States of America? If so and I don’t care how you feel about the US one way or another, I dare you to name one nation that has done more for greater-good of mankind.

That is why the film is breaking box-office records around the world – people do believe in the fighting oppression, conquest and slavery. Scott Lamky had the incredible opportunity to see the film premiere in Athens where the entire theatre repeatedly cheered out loud at all the great historical quotes (“Spartan, come back with your shield… Or on it!”) and the courage laid down by their forefathers. Man I wish I were there to experience that!

And so I believe that ALL comics owe a great debt to Leonidas’ Spartans. I know some of you might wish there never was a Shi, or even this column, but what about Superman? Mutants? Wonder Woman, Spider-man? Heaven forbid but there’d be no Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, Robert Crumb or even Beau Smith!

So you see, aside from proving to Hollywood, that you don’t need to change something great or big “stars” to have a successful movie, 300 is much, much more. Leonidas didn’t just save the real world, but the fantasy as well and I want to send a heartfelt thank you to Mr. Miller and Ms. Varley for giving us a beautiful book that not only heralds the greatest last stand in history, but one that should make us all think of just how much we truly owe those immortal few.

Well I’ve got to get back to the drawing board and finish Fallen Angel #17 and prepare my questions for next week’s guest interviewees Peter David and Darren Davis and to keep the whole ball rolling on 300 we’ll showcase a true Spartan living among us today!

So, until next week, Molon Lavae – Come and Get Them!

Billy Tucci